RP...continued

 For my sins, I didn't completely walk away from my RPs for another few days. Even after I was offered the opportunity to buy a "fan card" at one of 3 levels I kept going. I gave a false address and was told I must be in to pay the courier. The "nitwit" one did the negotiating. When I complained to "babe", he didn't seem to know what the "nitwit" was up to!

This gets surreal again now!!

I had chronic toothache for 3 days and couldn't sleep. "Babe" talked with me for hours at a time on every subject under the sun. He was genuinely kind though I learnt very little else about him.

It became obvious that "babe" took the night shift and "nitwit" the day. I made sure I wasn't around much during the day!! Eventually, I got a "sweet" message to say that as we were so in love, it was time to meet up. Could his manager call me to arrange it? No...I actually live very near you, I'll catch the train. Sneaky me!! But ...I have to be vetted first. For an exorbitant fee, no doubt! 

I went offline for the next few hours, then said "no" and "goodbye".

(A bit later, I got a message asking if I was willing to talk if he owned up to being a young Nigerian boy named Billab. He was quite sweet and we talked occasionally for 3 days. Eventually, I did what I should have done at the start. Blocked.)

RP: Role Play and Robert Plant

 A few days ago, I got a message from "RP" on Messenger. I was in the mood for mischief, so answered (I know...okay? Breaking all the rules.) This one was very articulate. And fun. He did talk me into going on Telegram, which I'm not proud of as I hate the damn app. 3 days later, we were madly in love. I was darlin' and he was babe.

This morning the weirdest thing. I got the usual "Good morning, darlin'". And immediately after a copy and paste greeting wishing me all sorts of comfort and delights, all of which I have read before. Ending with 'my dear'. Nonononono!

Then another beautiful text from babe and another badly written and badly punctuated missive from the nitwit. This went on until I deleted the lot for all sides!! Why had I done that? Why didn't I want the lovely greetings? Was I tired. Was I on my way to work?

Of course, they rely on these texts to keep everything and everyone straight. Naughty me!

Were they in a turf war for any money I might produce? Did they not see what was happening? Just surreal.

As usual, it's a mixture of relief and sadness that it's over. Even though I knew what was going on, I still felt a bit special for those few days.

1972

I want to write down my memories of one special day in 1972, just incase!!

Things are already hazy enough. I know the year was 1972. I had a rather nasty boyfriend at the time. My first. So I didn't really know better. My parents took us on a 2 week Greek Islands tour at the end of June. I was 15 and met a 17 year old Greek, who cleaned the cabins. I fell head over heels for him and cried for days when I went home. But this isn't about him!!

Still feeling miserable, I went to spend a few days with Nan and Grandad on Hayling Island. On a red hot Sunday, I went down to the beach (it was sandy then), put down my towel and lay my miserable but tanned body on it to further roast. A few minutes later, my peace was interrupted by a very large family, who squeezed in between me and the next people along. The older boy was GORGEOUS. I mean David Cassidy gorgeous. But I was miserable! So I lay on my stomach and turned my head away.

Then, the most romantic thing ever!!! Just the touch of a finger. A little stroke. A bit more of my hand. Until we were full on holding hands. At this point, his mother noticed and made a pointed comment!! 

I had to go back for lunch. I just knew he would follow. I sat on the wall outside Eastoke loos. Sat and sat there. Eventually, he strolled up and we kissed!! Swoon. He walked me nearly all the way home and we arranged to meet later.

We did meet up, held hands, walked away from his loud, noisy and inquisitive family and settled down on our towels. We did swim first, but knew it was just a prelude to kissing, kissing and more kissing. We did talk as well. I told him I was 17 as he was 18. I was still at school in Gloucester. He worked in a pub in Windsor.

After my perfect(!) afternoon, we said goodbye. He gave me a piece of paper with the name of the pub and the street.

Now, the sad bit. My Dad was a rep  and had a meeting near Windsor. He suggested taking me and the horrible soon to be ex boyfriend to the castle to sightsee. Once we'd done the trip round yhe castle, I insisted that we went to have a look around Windsor. I found the pub, but obviously didn't have an excuse to go in. I don't know what I did that set suspicions off, but he got into my handbag, found the piece of paper and tore it up.

Never mind. It was engraved in my memory. Two weeks later, Dad had another appointment, so I begged to go to Windsor again. I stood outside the pub for ages, but just couldn't find the courage to go in. Maybe I could have got away with looking 18, but I wasn't prepared to try! 

So that was that.

I have been thinking about my lovely day for about a year now. I don't have a name. Maybe Jim. Maybe Gaz. I'm probably making that up. I think the pub had a royal name, but the ones I've looked at online don't match my memories at all. The only one that does is The Carpenter's Arms on Market Street. I am more certain of Market Street, but who knows?

I've thought about asking if anyone knows my boy on one of the Friends Reunited sites. But really, what is the point? I know too little and I've left it too late.

Don't you forget about me

Well, I damn well had forgotten about this blog. If it wasn't for trying to find a copy of my "teddy" poem, and having a vague recollection of it being online somewhere.....

So...start again. Might be good to ramble occasionally. Maybe post some recipes and craft bits and bobs. No poems now though. Hmm...

Walking

I'm going through a bad time again. There is no real reason in the present...the greyness just descended.

One of the ways I try to get through it is by walking, albeit with a rollator. In an ideal world, I would walk every day. Somedays, I just cannot face the thought of walking the same route again. Other days it rains!

So a few days ago, I took my camera with me to record some of my walk, and I was pleasantly surprised with the pictures I took.

When we first moved here, one mile from the city centre, my youngest son described the area as similar to a Butlin's holiday camp. I guess the terraced houses are somewhat reminiscent of rows of chalets!

Just 5 minutes, at my slow pace, brings me to large areas of greenery...grass, trees and even a bubbling brook.

The last photo is the route I took back to our "chalet". 

Memories

Memories

walking
then cavorting
skipping along with me Dad
singing a song
inside my head
until we reached the red phone box
where me Dad called his Ma
like he did every Sunday
cos she lived so far
away
then a silver sixpence
fed a machine
for a chocolate bar
that tasted better then
and me Dad did the same
for a packet of ten
and a guilty smoke
on the way home

Farewell to 2014

So
Farewell to a year
I thought was my last
I'd really rather
you didn't ask

Oh...you have
Ok then...just for you
I'll tell the tale
that made me blue
(red actually!!)

An allergic reaction
to pills prescribed
Left me in a state
I'll now describe

Covered in wheals
itchy & sore
My eyes, my mouth
Need I say more?

Repercussions
for days on end
Antihistamines became
my very best friend

So I'm rather pleased
that I'm still here
and able to wish you
a Happy New Year

Framed!

For anyone who has been following the progress of my cross stitch, here it is framed by my lovely husband.

Cards for those special people

Recently, my Kindle, one of the original 3G ones, broke down. The screen froze on the page of a novel I was reading, and nothing I did could unfreeze it. I was so upset, because reading has become so vitally important to me. Anyway, my lovely brother rang up and told me to order myself another and that he would pay for it. To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement. I ordered it Thursday afternoon and it was with me Saturday.

Needless to say, I have got him a special present for Christmas and wanted a card to go with it. The one I chose is from the Hunkydory Elegant Christmas kit from a couple of years ago. The topper is in the shape of an open book.

I also made Rod's card from the same kit, with the appropriate sentiment!! I love that the 2 hearts lock over each other.

Today's cardmaking

I managed to make 2 cards today after my final counselling session.

The green and pink card is another acetate domed card. I wasn't sure about the colours at first, but it all came together as it was made.

The blue card has the picture behind snowflake acetate with a cute robin stuck on afterwards.

A batch of Christmas cards

It's the latest I have started my Christmas cards because I needed to make real progress with the cross stitch of Dad first. I'm also knitting a couple of outfits for Harry.

I have had to choose cards to make that wouldn't take a great deal of time. I've been through my stash and here are some of the ones I've made in the last few days. I won't write too much about them...just haven't got the time!!

These cards were made quickly for younger members of the family from a Dawn Bibby collection of a few years ago.

These are from the same collection, but using card blanks from a different set. I really like the way the mince pie sits behind the aperture. The card on the left has a folded base too.

I love these cards from a kit I bought at Lakeland years ago (the shops have been closed for years now, so it must have been a long time ago). The decoupage elements all had to be cut out by hand. I embellished the cards with flowers from Sweet Lilac and with glitter glue.

This is the type of card I have decided to make for older family members this year. It is from a Kanban kit of a few years ago. The pictures have a matching domed acetate over the front.

And, finally...this is the card I will probably give Mum. It is based on a card in the Crafter's Companion Christmas magazine. It involved a great deal of work to cut out all the poinsettias and holly leaves and then they were sprayed with glitter.

 

Cross stitch completed

I've finished the cross stitch of Dad with plenty of time left over for hubs to frame it.

I am so thrilled with the final result, I am sure that Mum will love it.

First Christmas Cards

I made the first 2 Christmas cards that I will give this afternoon. I have used ideas from the Crafters Companion Christmas magazine and CDROM and then completed them with what I had available in my craft room.

Depression

This is a (almost) copy of a piece I wrote for my Facebook account yesterday, which as far as I know was read by one person!

It is about how I feel at the moment, and why I am not online as much as I would like to be. I am also writing this in case others feel like this too and to let them know they are not alone. I hope I don't come across as indulgent.

A couple of months ago, I had an insect bite that got infected. I went to the doctor's for the first time in years and was given antibiotics and dressings. A week later, after a non stop upset tum, I was signed off. The next day it was weeping again. I literally went to pieces. Anyway, long story short, I was diagnosed with PTSD from an incident at school between me, a pupil and a pair of scissors. (I lost all my confidence after that. I took early retirement but it obviously didn't help)  I was also found to have high blood pressure (surprise!). So I was given BP pills and a version of Prozac, and the number of Let's Talk to arrange counselling.

So far, so good. By day 3 of taking the pills, I came up in deep red welts all over my skin. I felt like I was being stung all over. I missed my first session of counselling with 3 trips to the doctor's surgery to see various people. I now have new BP pills which I was too scared to take at first, but nothing for my depression/anxiety. I obsess constantly about my health. My leg still hasn't healed, my blood pressure pills have left me woozy and lacking energy for parts of the day, and a blood test has shown me to be borderline for diabetes so needs to be repeated this week.

I have managed to get to one counselling session now, and I am reading a self help book. I have better days among my bad ones. The last 2 days have been particularly bad. But I do want this to end and will do whatever it takes.

If you managed to read all of this, thank you.

New cross stitch photo

I took another photo of my cross stitch project, as the one yesterday was so poor!

December birthday cards

There are 4 family birthdays in December, so I though I had better get on with making the cards before the Christmas rush. It has also made a nice change from the constant work on the cross stitch and knitting projects.

Here are the first two.

I made this card for my grandson Bradley, who has spina bifida. Just after he started school, Bradley lay on the floor just like this to write me a story!

I made the card using images from the Docraft Boofle CD. I designed the main image and then decoupaged some of the elements. I finished it off with a coat of glaze on the buttons and glasses.

This card is for my daughter in law, Rachel. She has just holidayed at Brean Sands and this reminds me of the beach there. It also brings back fond memories of Camber Sands which is where I took the boys for holidays when they were young.

I took the elements for this card from the Joanna Sheen Tom Mielko project book and CD. I more or less made the card as it is in the book. The striped ribbon is my own touch.

Cross Stitch Update

I try to do a couple of hours cross stitch every day, sometimes more. Now the light is fading earlier, it is getting more difficult to work at the dining room table. I still have so much to do before Christmas.

I want to put the 3 photos I have taken together to show my progress.

I apologize for the quality of the photography. The aida is not discoloured...it's just the poor lighting in the room. But I think you will be able to see the progress I am making.

Working on canvas

I decided to have a go at stenciling and stamping on canvas.

This is an 8" by 8". I prepared the canvas with a pastel green acrylic paint, going around the sides too. I then used Tim Holtz sage green distress ink to sponge around the edges and then through a leaf stencil all over the canvas. This worked very well.

I then decided to stencil around the edges with a sparkle medium using a palette knife. I think I was a bit ambitious starting with a flexible canvas, but nevertheless, it (sort of) worked. Once this was dry, I used a navy blue ink to stamp the main image in the centre of the canvas. The first time, only the edges stamped, again because the canvas flexed! So I put a pile of mount board underneath, and tried again. Fortunately, using an acrylic block and see-through stamp meant I could perfectly line up with the previous effort! I finshed the stamping with a sentiment and a couple of small dragonflies.

I always meant to complete the canvas with a selection of paper flowers. Their positioning was dictated by the mistakes I had made with the sparkle medium!!

The completed canvas looks much better in real life than it does here. The only thing is, I have no idea what I am going to do with it!! I think I will make a series of them in different pastel colours and perhaps persuade hubs to hang them somewhere in the house!!

Knitting baby clothes

Because the cross stitch is so demanding, I have not had time to do much else, craft-wise. However, I do sometimes manage to watch a bit of TV in the evening, so decided to get a couple of knitting projects done at the same time.

Harry's parents have said they do not need clothes or toys for him at Christmas as they have had so many donated by friends with older children. But Rachel does like to see Harry in hand knitted clothing, so I decided to make a couple of items.

This is the first I am knitting, a smart little jacket in natural. So far, the back and left front are finished. It is very quick and easy to make.

I think this one is more for me! A cute teddy outfit!  The wool is so soft.

Cross stitch update

I have been spending at least 2 hours, often more, in the afternoon on the cross stitch of Dad that I want to get finished by Christmas. I am finding now that I have to swap to artificial light much earlier, so I think I will start stitching earlier and do other things later in the afternoon/early evening.

I have now completed 2 pages of pattern completely, and a bit more besides. It is not easy going. There are lots and lots of colour changes in just one small area, and rather than feeling challenged by this, I am actually starting to feel bored. There are some large areas of just one colour in 3 out of 4 of the remaining sheets so hopefully I will progress a bit faster.

Over a third completed now.

The first 2 pattern sheets. I highlight an area as I complete it.