Depression

This is a (almost) copy of a piece I wrote for my Facebook account yesterday, which as far as I know was read by one person!

It is about how I feel at the moment, and why I am not online as much as I would like to be. I am also writing this in case others feel like this too and to let them know they are not alone. I hope I don't come across as indulgent.

A couple of months ago, I had an insect bite that got infected. I went to the doctor's for the first time in years and was given antibiotics and dressings. A week later, after a non stop upset tum, I was signed off. The next day it was weeping again. I literally went to pieces. Anyway, long story short, I was diagnosed with PTSD from an incident at school between me, a pupil and a pair of scissors. (I lost all my confidence after that. I took early retirement but it obviously didn't help)  I was also found to have high blood pressure (surprise!). So I was given BP pills and a version of Prozac, and the number of Let's Talk to arrange counselling.

So far, so good. By day 3 of taking the pills, I came up in deep red welts all over my skin. I felt like I was being stung all over. I missed my first session of counselling with 3 trips to the doctor's surgery to see various people. I now have new BP pills which I was too scared to take at first, but nothing for my depression/anxiety. I obsess constantly about my health. My leg still hasn't healed, my blood pressure pills have left me woozy and lacking energy for parts of the day, and a blood test has shown me to be borderline for diabetes so needs to be repeated this week.

I have managed to get to one counselling session now, and I am reading a self help book. I have better days among my bad ones. The last 2 days have been particularly bad. But I do want this to end and will do whatever it takes.

If you managed to read all of this, thank you.